Published: Good Men Project (February 24, 2015)
Sean Penn forgot that behaviors which may seem appropriate in private are often inappropriate in public.
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For those of you who haven’t heard, two-time Academy Award-winning actor Sean Penn is under fire for a racist joke he made during the Oscars on Sunday. As he presented “Birdman” director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu with the award for Best Picture, he decided to crack wise at the expense of his long-time friend with this remark:
“Who gave this son of a bitch his green card?”
As many pundits have already observed, Penn’s quip was absolutely inappropriate.
As many pundits have already observed, Penn’s quip was absolutely inappropriate. Not only did it draw attention to Inarritu’s heritage even though his background has nothing to do with the subject of his film, but he did so by relying on a stereotype about Mexican-Americans (i.e., that they’re not legitimate Americans) at a time when racial discrimination against Mexican-Americans is often rationalized with anti-immigration rhetoric and Hispanics are grossly underrepresented in Hollywood.
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That said, while all of these points are relevant, there is another dimension to this story, which revealed itself when Inarritu defended Penn on the grounds that the two of them like to tease each other (more on that in a moment). While this explanation may exonerate Penn from the charge of racism, it unintentionally draws attention to a much deeper problem. As the era of mass media and the Internet continues to blur the lines between our public identities and our private selves, it is becoming increasingly difficult for us to realize where one realm ends and the other begins.
Every human being reveals different sides of their personalities depending upon the social context. How we behave around our families is different from how we behave around close friends, which is in turn different from how we behave around casual friends, which in turn differs from how we’d behave around employers or police officers or strangers in the street…
Every human being reveals different sides of their personalities depending upon the social context. How we behave around our families is different from how we behave around close friends, which is in turn different from how we behave around casual friends, which in turn differs from how we’d behave around employers or police officers or strangers in the street …
You get the picture. It is doubtful I’m going to run into anyone who disagrees with me on this point. I’m even confident enough in the soundness of my next observation—namely, that these numerous interpersonal relationships can be broadly classified into two categories, those pertaining to our public image and those that we reserve for those with whom we are close—that I’ll also pass over it as a given. This leaves me with the final and most important point:
Sean Penn forgot that friends who “get you” aren’t the same as members of the public who don’t.
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This is a mistake that we’ve seen public figures make all the time. In the last few years we’ve seen celebrities from Justin Bieber to Donald Sterling get caught in embarrassing moments of casual racism—an un-PC joke, a bigoted rant—precisely because the private face they only showed to friends was somehow leaked to the public. Of course, because he actually uttered his offensive comment in a setting that he knew would be consumed by the public, Penn’s jocularity is more on par with Brett Ratner (director of the “Rush Hour” trilogy) saying rehearsals are for “fags” during an interview. On both occasions the celebrity allowed his private side to slip out in a public setting.
Even if Penn isn’t a genuine racist, he still made a vulgar and insulting comment in front of a much larger audience than the single person of Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu.
Does that mean that Penn is a racist? Considering the man’s extensive humanitarian work and outspoken progressivism (which studies have shown do make you less inclined to hold racist opinions), he certainly deserves the benefit of the doubt. At the same time, it isn’t enough for Penn to point out that his joke was directed to a friend from the minority group he was insulting, not only because the “I have ___ friends” argument is offensive in its own right, but because it misses the point about the faux pas he committed. Even if Penn isn’t a genuine racist, he still made a vulgar and insulting comment in front of a much larger audience than the single person of Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. If he wants to make sure his public identity is not associated with casual racism, he needs to be humble and admit that he was wrong.
There is a beauty to the simplicity of the lesson in this story. It comes down to something we were taught as young children: When you do something wrong, just apologize. No matter how much technology changes society, certain fundamental lessons will always be relevant, and this is one of them. If we can sincerely admit when we’re wrong, we can fix just about any problem, whether all over the world or in our own souls.