Published: The Good Men Project (January 5, 2016)
Warning: This entire article is one big spoiler!
If you want to understand why men are reluctant to discuss their emotions, look no further than the response to Kylo Ren from “Star Wars: The Force Awakens.”
On Twitter, there is a popular (and media-lauded) account called “Emo Kylo Ren,” in which the Star Wars antagonist makes comments like “Darth Vader had no father. I envy him.” Bustle has lovingly chronicled memes that diss the baddie for being whiny, such as one that shows him in a crib with a sign saying “Whiny Pissbaby Jail.” Another Bustle article contemptuously refers to him as a “Human Angst Bucket” right in its title.
Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with taking comic jabs at popular motion pictures. I don’t even mind drawing attention to a male character’s whinyness when the trait can be clearly attributed to sub-par writing or acting (looking at you, Anakin Skywalker from “Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones”). That said, the attacks on Kylo Ren for the most part don’t focus on the writing (which was very good) or Adam Driver’s performance (which was fantastic), but rather on the very fact that this character was openly tormented.
In other words, the criticisms of Kylo Ren are in effect lambasting him for nothing more than having emotional turmoil. It’s hard to observe this without noting that, by extension, this criticism extends to all men who don’t handle their pain with stoicism.
From a purely artistic standpoint, this attitude negates some of Western literature’s most poignant characters. People love to quote William Shakespeare’s famous soliloquy for Hamlet (“To be, or not to be…”), but it’s doubtful that the Kylo Ren haters have actually read it; after all, the entire purpose of that monologue was to explore the main character’s troubled mental state. The same could be said for any number of protagonists from Charles Dickens novels (Oliver Twist, shut up about the gruel!) or classic cinema (Sheesh, Marlon Brando, so you coulda been a contender… We don’t care that you feel like a bum!). There are innumerable great works of art that stand out because of the palpable anguish endured by its characters. If the critics of Kylo Ren were to be believed, though, all of these legends of fiction should just buck up and stop complaining.
The gendered component of this problem is particularly evident when you consider that Ren is hardly the most emotional character in the new Star Wars movie. His counterpart, Rey, spends a great deal of the running time reacting with open emotionalism to her own travails, from running crying into the woods after having visions from touching Luke Skywalker’s light saber to screaming at the death of her mentor (Han Solo). Not only are these responses appropriate, but they allow the audience to develop a meaningful sense of who she is and why she behaves as she does.
Yet even though no one seems to have batted an eyelash at Rey’s emoting – nor should they – there is an enormous resentment toward Kylo Ren doing the same thing. This, I suspect, says a great deal about where we are now as a culture… namely, that we have become incredibly insecure. While the backstory of Kylo Ren has yet to be revealed, there is no reason to assume that his anguish is in any way unjustified (and thus shameful). Nevertheless, large segments of our popular culture insist that the character should be scorned for these traits, by and large because they don’t fit into a predefined notion of masculinity.
At some future date, cultural historians will look back on these responses and have a field day. For now, though, all we can do is enjoy the latest installments of the “Star Wars” saga and not allow the sniping of the emotionally constipated to ruin it for the rest of us.